Building Things Up

There's an inherent danger to building things up. We do it all the time. We get excited for things to come, and by the time we experience them there is all likelihood that they won't live up to our expectations. Vacations are a great example. I'm going on vacation at the end of the week, and I'll be out through next week. I'm very excited to be able to log off for a while, but I also worry that I'm expecting too much of the time I'll be off. The nice thing about camping is that I know what to expect. I am going to try to avoid bringing work distractions with me and I'm going to be sure to prepare as best I can ahead of time so that everyone at work knows I will be unavailable. I'm taking steps to specifically avoid putting myself in a situation where I'll be worried about work. Of course, I can only do so much. That's where the buildup might put me at risk of enjoying my time off. I'm designing my vacation around specific check-in points and I'm going to do my best to try to avoid going outside of those boundaries. But there's also a larger issue of 'mandatory fun' that can make things difficult. If we predetermine a very specific window of time, an opportunity in which we're going to have fun, then if we don't have fun it can just make everything stressful. We're trying to take advantage of the time by cramming things in, and when we can't get those things crammed in it just makes us all the more stressed. So here's what I suggest. I have no expectations. I have no specific plans. I'm going to go camping with my family and we're going to just see what happens. And if we decide we want to do things, that's fine. And if we don't, then we're still going to be out in the woods chilling. I'm only making plans for what I'm NOT going to do. I'm not going to check my work email. I'm not going to bring a bunch of electronic devices with me. I'm not going to spend any time worrying or fretting about things. I'm also not going to allow myself to get stressed when other people want to do things. When Jack wants to go down to the beach. When he wants to go do something else. When Merrie wants to do something. Because the whole reason why we're going on vacation is so that EVERYONE has fun. Not so that I have fun and everyone else has fun according to my schedule. That's the Clark Griswold approach, and it sets the entire vacation up for failure before it even begins. So that's an application of this idea to vacations because that's where I am right now mentally. But it can apply to other things. That new car you want to buy. That new job. The new house. The important thing is that expectations be limited to reality - that they be grounded. We can expect that things are going to provide a positive contribution to our lives, but it is important that we also be realistic about things.

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